Isaiah 54:5 - For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.

Matthew 22:2 - The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which made a marriage for his son.

God performs the marriage ceremony, and Adam says in Genesis 2:23 23 This is now (he doesn't say "she" is now); he says "This is now," meaning this new relationship, he is talking about marriage. This is now bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken from man. Adam names her. He names her after himself. His name in Hebrew is Eish. The Hebrew word for woman is Eisha. In the first marriage, she takes his name. All Eve knows when she is created is that she is there. She doesn't know who she fully is until she receives his name. That is why in marriage, there is a transfer of names from the woman's last name to the man's last name, because she is now merged into another purpose. (Newsflash: Marriage Is NOT What You Think It Is, And That Should Be A Game-Changer By Dr. James Taylor)

The "mystery" - "...the two shall be one flesh." Examining the "mystery"  - The bride takes the husbands name. The bride now does everything in his name. The bride acts in faith in his name. The bride becomes immersed (baptized) into the life of her husband as a partaker of his kingdom. "For as He is, so are we in the world." 1 John 4:17

To fully understand the God's design of the marriage relationship between man and woman it is necessary to understand the "marriage" relationship between Christ and His Church. (I.E. How does Christ care for His Church? Does the Church "submit" to the "King" whose Kingdom is not of this world?) Discover the "mystery," by understanding the man's role of caring and the wife's role of caring for being cared for: See What is What is the Kingdom of God? He that has ears to hear, let him hear. 

Scripture such as "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it," should be an indication that Christ, "the bridegroom" and "His Bride," the church (Revelation 18-22) depicts how IMPORTANT "marriage" is to God.

The mystery: Just as the man and wife are to become as one, so too, believers and God are to be as one. Is not the Church the Bride of Christ?

Women: Wife & Mother: God's family warrior: A strong helper and soldier - Carolyn Curtis James - Lost Women of the Bible

Genesis 2:18 - And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help (ezer) meet (neged) for him.

Understanding these Hebrew words is necessary to appreciate what "help meet" actually encompasses.

"Help" was translated from the Hebrew word `ezer -- pronounced: ay'-zer,  meaning  aid: (H5828 from Strong's Concordance) 

ezer is derived from `azar -- pronounced: aw-zar'  meaning to surround, protect.  (H5826)

Examining the Hebrew & Greek words for the wife, "help meet," and husband as "head."

Why 'Helper' in Gen. 2:18 May Not Mean What You Think - By Dr. Eddie Hyatt - ...Edited by Rabbis Nosson Scherman and Meir Zlotowitz, the Chumash provides commentary on the Torah by Jewish rabbis and teachers, both ancient and modern, and is widely used in Jewish homes and synagogues. Written by people for whom Hebrew is their native tongue, the Chumash says neged literally means "against," and that God literally said he would make the man a helper "against" him. The Chumash commentators go on to say: Many have noted that the ideal marriage is not necessarily one of total agreement in all matters. Often it is the wife's responsibility to oppose her husband and prevent him from acting rashly, or to help him achieve a common course by questioning, criticizing and discussing. Thus the verse means literally that there are times a wife can best be a helper by being against him (Hyatt, Who's the Boss?, 25).

   ...Through all of this, it was becoming very clear that the "helper" God creates in Genesis 2:18 is not a mild, meek, "yes, dear" sort of person who never challenges or expresses an opinion. I was beginning to see the truth of the Chumash that the helper God was making was a strong and equal individual who has both the right and the responsibility, when called for, to confront her husband as an equal partner. ...The Bible, however, is clear on this matter. As the man's ezer neged, the wife has both the right and the responsibility to confront her husband when necessary. In doing so, she is fulfilling her role as "helper" spoken of in Genesis 2:18  

Have We Been Misinterpreting the Word 'Head' in Ephesians 5? - By EDDIE HYATT ...when Paul says in Ephesians 5:23 that the husband is the kephale (head) of the wife, his point is not about authority and leadership. If he had wanted to establish an authoritarian structure for marriage, he could easily have done so by using words such as archon (ruler), despot (master) or timē (one of rank and honor). Any of these would have unambiguously communicated the idea of superior rank and authority. Paul, instead, avoids those words and speaks of the husband as the kephale, or source of the wife. In doing so he is referring back to the Genesis account of creation where, instead of creating a separate creature from the ground to make the woman, God took a side from the person He had already created from the dust, and built the side into the woman. The popular Jewish commentary known as The Chumash says, Unlike man's, the woman's body was not taken from the earth. God built one side of the man into woman. so that the single human being became two, thereby demonstrating irrefutably the equality of man and woman (Hyatt, Paul, Women and Church, 85).

While the husband is the "head" of the family, the wife is the "heart" of the family.

"Men do that which is difficult while women do that which is impossible." --Lakota Chief Red Cloud ("Next to Last Stand" -- 2020 Walt Longmire book by Craig Johnson)

Mark Gungor Videos (Must See)

Tale of two brains - Men's Brain Women's Brain - Mark Gungor from Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage compares men's brains to lots of boxes that don't touch and women's brains to a big ball of wire where everything is connected to everything else. Prepare to laugh.

Sex is what men want from women - Mark explains why. 

God's "Real Man" List - James Dobson's Family Talk: By JT Waresak

1. 12 Things My Kids Need to Hear From Me 

2. 10 Traits of Highly Effective Dads 

3. 5 Must-Haves to Porn-Proof Your Marriage

James Dobson Resources:

For Wives

The 7-Minute Marriage Solution

You Always Bite The One You Love

3 Ways to Build Up Your Husband

Fortify Your Marriage and Your Home

For Husbands

The 7-Minute Marriage Solution

You Always Bite The One You Love

5 Keys To Lead Your Wife, i.e. "Wear the Pants"

Fortify Your Marriage and Your Home

Dr. Carol Ministries

    HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Articles and Resource Guides about communication, intimacy, and other marriage challenges.

Did I Marry the Wrong Person?

When Your Marriage Fails Anyway

Your Husband Longs for These 5 Life-Giving Things From You

Your Husband Longs for These 5 Life-Giving Things From You -  Dr. Carol Peters-Tanskley These essential elements create a godly atmosphere in your home. So many people look at marriage as a way to get their own needs met. In a godly, healthy marriage you will have many needs met. But as an adult, as a believer and as a wife, you will be much happier, more satisfied and find more success in your marriage if you focus more of your efforts on what your husband needs from you rather than first seeking to get your own needs met.
   Your husband is responsible for his own behavior. Always. But as his wife, you have much more influence and "power" in your relationship than you probably realize. You are fully equal to your husband in the sight of God, but He has given you a role and responsibility in your husband's life that is unique.
   For your own sake, pay attention to these five things your husband needs from you. These are needs that no one else can meet to the degree that you as his wife can. Meeting some of these needs may feel unnatural to you, but just do it. Don't worry about doing it perfectly. But if you proactively seek to understand and meet these needs in your husband, you can be the catalyst God uses to support him in becoming the man God created him to be.
    1. Honor and Respect: A man thrives on honor and respect. He will gravitate to the place where he is most honored and respected whether at work or at home. This does not mean you refuse to see his faults, but it means you look for the best in him and affirm all that is good. Just as you don't want him to give you conditional love, don't give him conditional respect. Offer it as a gift, generously. He is likely to do more of any behavior you appreciate and affirm.
   You show him respect by honoring his opinion, following his leadership, covering his faults, and allowing him to fail. You are free to, and should, speak up when you see him going in a "wrong" or dangerous direction, but allow God to be the enforcer. Speak well of him in front of others. Be his bigges cheerleader. Magnify his good qualities. Treat him at a level above what you may think he deserves, and he is likely to do all he can to live up to that.
(If there is abuse going on, take it seriously. Get some help. You can do that even while respecting your husband.)
   2. Affirm His Sexual Nature: No, you don't have to say yes every time your husband wants sex. This is about so much more than frequency. His sexuality is one of the primary ways your husband experiences and expresses his masculinity. He needs you to embrace and affirm his sexual nature; that's the way God made him. He needs you to accept your role as the object of his sexual desires. Simply "doing your duty" sexually doesn't cut it; your husband feels successful when you are satisfied, when you enjoy yourself, when you show that you desire him. Actively pursue intimacy with him.
   A man's sexual needs often get a bad reputation because of how often they have been distorted. Remember, your husband is always responsible for his own behavior. But under God you, as his wife, can support and affirm who God made him to be, including sexually. Stretch yourself. Take a mental step toward your husband, and follow it up. Be more sexual than you feel. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. It will keep drawing your husband back to you.
   3. Create a Home: This has nothing to do with whether or not you work outside the home, or what level of gifting and desire you have in cooking, cleaning or decorating. Your husband needs to be an equal partner in home responsibilities. But your husband needs you to be the architect of the home environment. He needs to have a place to come home to, regardless of how humble the physical surroundings.
   Think through what your husband's experience is like when he comes home. Is it a place he wants to be? Is he safe there? Is the fragrance of your attitude and demeanor appealing? Does he feel as though home is where he belongs? Although the physical environment has an influence, much more important is the sense of rest, of being welcomed, of safety, of being loved, valued and understood.
   4. Be His Friend: You're not your husband's mother or his child. He needs you to be his helpmeet, his partner, his friend. If you find yourself criticizing, micro-managing, belittling, controlling, begging, demanding or expecting him to "fix" you, quit it. He will end up resenting you if you play his mother, and he will not respect or desire you if you play his child.
   Enter his world. Show interest in what interests him. Stretch yourself to understand things he does or values. Ask questions, join him in some activity he enjoys, and choose to find joy in doing things together. Many men will feel much more motivated to communicate from their heart when they are engaging in some enjoyable activity with their best friend, you.
   5. Pray for Him: Your influence on your husband is never greater than when you are on your knees. Countless men have been drawn to God through a praying wife. More than your words to your husband, your words to God about him and for him will make a difference.
   Don't pray only that God change him, although you are free to do that. Also pray for God to show you who He needs you to be to your husband at this season of your marriage. Ask Him to create such an inviting fragrance through you that your husband can't help but respond. Your sensitivity to the Spirit's work in your life, your husband's life, and your marriage can make you an indispensable partner in what God is seeking to do.
   Dr. Carol Peters-Tanksley is both a board-certified OB-Gyn physician and an ordained Doctor of Ministry. As an author and speaker, she loves helping people discover the Fully Alive kind of life that Jesus came to bring us. Visit her website at drcarolministries.com 

7 Ways You Might Drive Your Wife Crazy, and How You Can Avoid Them - By BJ FOSTER/ALL PRO DAD - As I talk to couples, I hear a list of common things husbands do that drive their wives crazy. Many of these can be avoided by small pieces of intentional action.
   1. Inability to multitask. Marriage author Mark Gungor talks humorously about the difference between men's and women's brains. He says women's brains are like a big ball of wires, while men's brains are like a collection of boxes. Inside each of those boxes is a subject and only one box can be dealt with at a time. Women have the ability to think of everything at the same time. They see every subject as interconnected. The amount of details running around their brains is overwhelming. The trouble I run into is when my wife is trying to transfer some of those details to me. If you give me more than one detail in one sitting we're in trouble.
   2. Zone out. Gungor goes on to say that men have a box in our brains with nothing in it. He says the Nothing Box is our favorite box. We have the ability to actually think about nothing, while women's brains never stop. We love to sit and not have to think. This drives women crazy because they can't fathom it. In fact, they kind of envy it. However, it becomes a problem when we zone out or our minds wander when our wives are talking or needing us to engage. I've had too many experiences like this clip from Lego Movie where I've had to ask my wife to tell me things multiple times.
   3. Don't respond. The easiest response for us when our wives have a problem is to jump into action and try to fix it. However, they have told us over and over they don't want us to do that. We are told they want us to just listen. When they are finished pouring out their problems and emotions, we sometimes sit there not knowing how to respond. They are looking for us to say something, but we know we're not supposed to say something that attempts to fix it. So we say nothing because we haven't done the next point.
   4. Don't connect emotionally. I believe, more than anything, our wives are looking to connect with their husbands. However, that's certainly not the easiest task for us. Watching a group of women empathize over one another is fascinating. They all gather around the hurting person in tears and console her. When our wives talk about their struggles and joys they want us to tap into our own similar experience and connect our emotions with theirs. When it doesn't happen, they feel frustrated and alone.
   5. Expect sex without trying to connect. When we go to bed, we hope to have sex to connect with our wives, but she needs to emotionally connect first, and if that didn't start earlier in the night it's not going to happen. Wives need a warm up and when we haven't reached out to them until bedtime, their first thought is, "Now you want me? Where were you earlier when I wanted to talk?" If sex with your wife is going to be a possibility, you need to start making your move the moment the kids go to bed.
  6. Show no initiative. After a long day, it's easy to come home and disengage. This is especially true when our wives are running crazy with details. It's tempting to think, She's got it. They want us to enter into all of their chaos, help them think ahead and move.
   7. Don't plan. When my wife takes the kids to the park, she plans for everything. She thinks through inviting friends, the weather, extra clothes, snacks, drinks, toys and sporting equipment, and how long we are going to be there. I think through whether they are dressed and have shoes on, and we're on our way. Imagine what vacations are like. Our wives are constantly planning to meet the needs of our kids and want our help, whether it is our natural tendency or not. 
   (BJ Foster is the director of content creation for All Pro Dad and a married father of two. For the original article, visit allprodad.com.)

Angry Women and Passive Men - From Love Must Be Tough by Dr. James C. Dobson- The problem has its origins in childhood, long before a young man and woman stand at the altar to say, "I do." For her part, the girl is taught subtly by her culture that marriage is a lifelong romantic experience; that loving husbands are entirely responsible for the happiness of their wives; that a good relationship between a man and woman should be sufficient to meet all needs and desires; and that any sadness or depression that a woman might encounter is her husband's fault. At least, he has the power to eradicate it if he cares enough. In other words, many American women come into marriage with unrealistically romantic expectations which are certain to be dashed. Not only does this orientation set up a bride for disappointment and agitation in the future; it also places enormous pressure on her husband to deliver the impossible.

What Jesus Said About Divorce

What Jesus Said About Divorce - By DANIEL THIMONS - (Excepts: Visit link for complete column.) In the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 19, we read the account where the Pharisees approached Jesus to test him, and offered him a challenge. "Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?'" (Mt 19:3) Notice, the Pharisees were not asking whether or not divorce is lawful, but rather they were asking Jesus about the appropriate grounds for divorce of which he considers to be lawful. This question was proposed to Christ by two different schools of the Pharisees. On one hand was the Hillel School which claimed that any number of reasons could be grounds for divorce as long as the man gave the woman a bill of divorce. On the other hand, the Shammai School claimed that a man could divorce his wife only for very serious reasons, such as infidelity. So, this question was proposed to Jesus to test him on his interpretation of the Mosaic Law found in the Book of Deuteronomy, "When a man, after marrying a woman and having relations with her, is later displeased with her because he finds in her something indecent, and therefore he writes out a bill of divorce and hands it to her, thus dismissing her from his house" (Deuteronomy 24:1).

   The Pharisees question is one of a subjective vs. objective interpretation of this passage from Deuteronomy. The Hillel School took a more subjective approach to its interpretation, emphasizing that it is the man who "finds in her" something indecent. While the Shammai School took a more objective approach, claiming that there arecertain definitive criteria to determine what is "indecent." The Pharisees question is also this: Should the Mosaic Law with regard to divorce be interpreted in the man's favor (Hillel) or in the woman's favor (Shammai)? It is a question which places a specific interpretation of the man's rights under Mosaic Law against the compassion and fidelity that is owed to a faithful wife.

   If Jesus answered that divorce was only lawful for serious reasons such as infidelity, those in the Hillel School would claim that he was not honoring a man's rights in the law handed down from Moses. On the other hand, if Jesus answered that a man could divorce his wife for any number of reasons; those in the Shammai School would claim that Jesus has little or no compassion for women. This question of the Pharisees is one that continues to resound to this day. It could be summed up as a question of the law vs. love, doctrine vs. compassion, theology vs. pastoral charity.

   It is striking that Jesus does not enter this debate on the grounds that it was proposed. But, rather his answer reveals that according to the Divine plan, there is no opposition between the law and love, between doctrine and compassion, between theology and pastoral charity. Christ's answer to the Pharisees demonstrates that God's law is a law of love, that His doctrine on marriage is full of compassion, and that theology and pastoral charity are always united. "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."(Mt 19:4-6).

   Christ's doctrine on marriage is one that is full of love, because it reveals the very essence of love. Love by its very nature is faithful, forever, and fruitful. Love is always grounded on truth, as it does not permit lies or deception. A temporary agreement could rightly be called a legal contract, but love knows no end. And love is never selfish or self-seeking but rather always expands in service to another. Christ reveals that a husband and wife are called to the Law of Love that is inscribed in our nature by the Creator "from the beginning." Yet, the Pharisees continue to argue on the grounds of the Mosaic Law. "[The Pharisees] said to him, 'Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss [her]?'" [Jesus] said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so." (Mt 19:7-8).

   The Pharisees response to the Divine teaching about the indissolubility of marriage is to again invoke the Law of Moses. Christ again responds by revealing the truth about marriage "from the beginning." The concession that Moses granted which allowed for divorce was not an act of mercy, but rather an explicit recognition of the need for a savior. The people, on their own accord, were simply incapable of loving one another as God loves. Their "hearts" had become "hardened" and darkened by sin. Moses could not save the people from their sin. In the hardness of their hearts, the law of God had become burdensome, and so Moses permitted divorce for a time, awaiting a redeemer who could turn their hearts of stone into natural hearts, hearts capable of love. (See Ezekiel 11:19.)

   It is important to note that Moses was not acting out of mercy, but out of obligation when he permitted divorce. Mercy always recognizes the full weight of sin, a weight that demands the punishment of death. Christ is the One capable of exercising mercy, because as the sinless One, he accepted the just punishment for our sins and offered the forgiveness of God. Our works of mercy, the mercy that we show to others, are only true mercy if these works are connected to the Sacrifice of Christ on the Cross. Mercy always recognizes the full evil of sin, but Christ's mercy allows sinners a new opportunity to reform their lives and live according to the truth that will set us free. (See John 8:32.)

   The mercy of Christ with regard to the teaching on the indissolubility of marriage is demonstrated most poignantly in John Chapter 8, the passage of the woman caught in adultery. We see here how the law and love, doctrine and compassion, theology and pastoral charity, are perfectly compatible in Christ's great act of mercy towards the woman. Again, the Pharisees try to trap Jesus. But, Jesus answers in a way that is full of mercy as he clearly recognizes the truth of the reality of sin while forgiving the sinner. Christ always meets people where they are, but he never leaves them where they are. One who encounters Christ is always changed, as we can presume that the woman caught in adultery did not later return to her sinful ways following a brief period of penance.

   Cardinal Carlo Caffarra in his March 14, 2014 interview in Il Foglio, beautifully described the Mercy of Christ given to the woman caught in adultery. "For a woman caught in the very act, the demands of the Mosaic Law were clear: she should be stoned to death. In fact the Pharisees asked Jesus what he thought precisely in order to draw him into their perspective. If he had said 'stone her' they would have replied: 'Look, He preaches mercy and eats with sinners but when it comes to it even he says 'stone her.' If he had said "don't stone her" they would have replied: "And this is where mercy leads us: it destroys the Law and every legal and moral bond." This is the typical view of casuistic morality which takes you into a blind alley where you have to choose between the person and upholding the norm. The Pharisees try to trap Jesus in this blind alley. But Jesus doesn't accept their perspective at all; he says that adultery is a great evil and that it destroys humanity, also of the person who commits this act. Jesus, in order to overcome this evil, doesn't condemn the person who has committed this act; rather he cures the person of this great evil and commands her not to enter into this evil again. "Neither do I condemn you. Go and do not sin again." This is the mercy of which only the Lord is capable. This is the mercy which the Church, from one generation to the next, announces.

   In the beautiful passage of Christ's response to the woman caught in adultery, Jesus demonstrates the truth about mercy, love, and forgiveness. And, this truth about love and mercy is our hope as Christians. Christ offers us the capacity and the ability to change, "relying not on our own strength, but on the help and grace of the Holy Spirit." (CCC 1817) Christ calls us to love in a way that we are not capable of on our own. In his Incarnation, Christ does not destroy our human nature but elevates it, revealing our true calling to live as sons and daughters of God.

   Christ's teaching on the indissolubility of marriage may seem outdated in modern times or difficult to accept, but his teaching is clear and unequivocal, held by the Church for nearly 2,000 years. "I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery" (Mt 19:9).
Jesus clearly demonstrates the truth about marriage, that it is ordained by God to last "until death." Marriage reveals the truth about God's love, a love that is faithful to the end. Truth and love, theology and pastoral charity, are perfectly united in this teaching of Christ.